Listen!

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advise
you have not done what I have asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen
not talk or do - just hear me.
Advice is cheap - a buck will get you both Dear
Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I'm not helpless.
Maybe disgouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
you and can get about the business of understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I
don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sence when we understand
what's behind them...

So, please listen and just hear me. And, if you want to talk, wait a
minute for your turn; and I'll listen to you.