Survivor Not Victim

Reclaiming your life is not an easy task. First, you have to discover just
who you are and what you want. You have to decide if this is how you want to live your life. I'm sure there has been much grief for you here, and much wistful longing for that perfect relationship.

It would probubly be the easier path if you just gave up. You could just sit back and accept your lot in life, using abuse as an excuse to stop living. I tried this route, but the best part of me which remains despised that road. It may be the path of least resistance but it is also the path of least reward.

Abused is not who you are. Be a survivor, not a victim. When you can shift your focus from victim to survivor, you can walk upon the path of reclaimation and begin the process of finding the new you. This shift is not just something that happens one day; it is a process repeated daily.

It moves forward, stumbles, sags, stalls and sometimes even falls back upon
itself. Anger can feed it, while indignation can urge it onward. For every two steps forged forward there is one step back. Progress is slow, jerky, and often seems like there is no progress at all.

Frustration and feelings of futility are among the enemies you face. And so you begin each day unsure and frightened. The biggest and most frightening steps you take are those which take you beyond your small world. Make small changes, one at a time. Baby steps.

You need to feel comfortable with each change before you go on to something new. Upon this path, each stepstone must be laid firmly enough that you will not fall by stepping on it. Each stone must be carefully locked into the others. To demand too much of yourself is a self- fulfilling prophesy of disaster.

You are strong. If you take things one step at a time then you have a good
chance of tackling them successfully. I used to think that my biggest demons were based in inability and weakness. Now I realize they are based in fear.

You are a survivor, not a victim at all... People who accept things as they are without pushing things are the victims. Challenge everyday, and realize what you can do. Don't accept things the way they are.