Adam and Eve

: Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world were to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone!

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

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Questions about Eve

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman meant to him and how blessed he felt to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.

Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?

God: So you would always want to look at her.

Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?

God: So you would always want to touch her.

Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?

God: So you would always want to be near her.

Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?

God: So she would love you.

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Man Fall Asleep in Church

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your a**!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

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Eve: "Adam do u love me?"
Adam: "No I don't"
Eve: (crying) "Then why did you make love to me ?"
Adam: "Helloooo do you see anyone else around ?"

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Adam and Eve Joke

Adam stayed out very late for a few nights and Eve became very upset.
"You're fooling around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded,
"You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep.
A shot time later hi was awakened by someone poking him in the chest.
It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs" said Eve.....

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Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and
all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic
snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for
you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be
vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger,
faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he
is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a
way
that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will
revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't
be too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but
what's the catch Lord?"

"Well.....you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring.....so you'll
have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be
our little secret.............. You know, woman to woman."


Guys this cant be true can it?

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After a few weeks of Adam being by himself in the garden of Eden, he got lonely. So he went to God and asked for a companion. God said he would look into it and get back to him the next day. So the next day God went to Adam and said 'Here Adam, I can make a beutifull woman that cooks, irons, cleans, never complains and is pretty much just what you want, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg, what do you think' Adam thought for a few seconds and then asked 'what can I get for a rib?'......

The rest is history...