No More Bad Dream

How sweet he was, once.
I remember his smile and words.
He lavished me with compliments I needed to hear.
He told me to trust when I did not feel I should.
And I did and then we married,

Then a darkness came like a dream.
I kept thinking I’d wake from my sleep
and the rainbow would appear again
in the damp and wet storm,
yet it only became darker
and a chill set in.

Glimpses of a time past would flicker
Like a flame atop a candle.
I could almost grasp the memories of a life I once knew
And told myself this wasn't happening.

But a different man he was, too real.
Hard and sometimes cruel,
Angry and jealous,
Controlling and insecure.
He said I was unloveable and not worth much
And his actions confirmed his words in my mind.

I was becoming isolated
and a power struggle began to ensue.
I didn't want to let go of who I was.
I became like a trapped bird in a cage.
Boundaries were drawn, lines were crossed.

Fear set in and I tried to break free from him.
He didn't want to let me go.
I became a fish out of water
Gasping for air.
Then the rain came again,
So hard it pushed me into
The depth of the sea.

I swam fast for my freedom.
Salty tears I no longer cry
As his memory becomes
Like rays of the sun fading at the day's end.

I will always remember him,
as not who I thought he was
and learn to be wiser about who
I love so I stay free from
the nets thrown into the sea
to capture me.