***To all the men out there, appreciate the strong woman you have. Don't ever take her for granted. :) I can only hope my ex may someday feel the way this song does. It may not be too late for you though...****
When I was Your Man Video by Bruno Mars
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Mortal Danger
From the book, "Mortal Danger," by Ann Rule:
The three-act "play" of each relationship might well have been written by the same author.
The first act is all about romance and trust; it moves along so gently that the woman who will soon be captive never senses danger.
The second act is a slow progression. He cuts her off from her friends, her family, her job and her self-respect, until she finds herself dancing to whatever tuner her formerly perfect lover chooses to play.
The third act can end one of three ways:
1.) The emotionally imprisoned woman gives up and remains with the man who forbids her to leave him.
2.) She escapes from him but is left with a constant sense of someone silently stalking her.
3.) Their "love story" turns tragic, and she dies at his hand.
When a woman is entrenched in a sick relationship, it is difficult to escape.
Ironically, it is quite often the weakest of men who stalk and capture. An insightful friend of mine calls this the "tyranny of the weak." Strong, confident men have no need to control. Only those who are empty inside have to. Or they cannot survive, themselves.
The three-act "play" of each relationship might well have been written by the same author.
The first act is all about romance and trust; it moves along so gently that the woman who will soon be captive never senses danger.
The second act is a slow progression. He cuts her off from her friends, her family, her job and her self-respect, until she finds herself dancing to whatever tuner her formerly perfect lover chooses to play.
The third act can end one of three ways:
1.) The emotionally imprisoned woman gives up and remains with the man who forbids her to leave him.
2.) She escapes from him but is left with a constant sense of someone silently stalking her.
3.) Their "love story" turns tragic, and she dies at his hand.
When a woman is entrenched in a sick relationship, it is difficult to escape.
Ironically, it is quite often the weakest of men who stalk and capture. An insightful friend of mine calls this the "tyranny of the weak." Strong, confident men have no need to control. Only those who are empty inside have to. Or they cannot survive, themselves.
Survival Signs/Warnings That Might Save Your Life
From the book, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker:
Be aware of signs that might put you in danger:
1.) Forced Teaming: "We" instead of "you." Shared purpose or experience where none exists.
2.) Charm and Niceness: "He was so nice..." Niceness does NOT equal goodness.
3.) Too Many Details: Trying to convince you. When people tell the truth, they don't feel doubted.
4.) Typecasting: Labeling in a slightly critical way, so you feel compelled to prove them wrong ("You're not very friendly..." etc.)
5.) Loan Sharking: Lending or offering help and expecting to collect on it.
6.) Unsolicited Promise: A person promises something when he/she sees you aren't convinced.
7.) Discounting the Word "No:" "No" should mean "no."
Be aware of signs that might put you in danger:
1.) Forced Teaming: "We" instead of "you." Shared purpose or experience where none exists.
2.) Charm and Niceness: "He was so nice..." Niceness does NOT equal goodness.
3.) Too Many Details: Trying to convince you. When people tell the truth, they don't feel doubted.
4.) Typecasting: Labeling in a slightly critical way, so you feel compelled to prove them wrong ("You're not very friendly..." etc.)
5.) Loan Sharking: Lending or offering help and expecting to collect on it.
6.) Unsolicited Promise: A person promises something when he/she sees you aren't convinced.
7.) Discounting the Word "No:" "No" should mean "no."
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
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