"Tough" hardly seems an adequate word. Words fail completely to describe the most difficult moments in the recovery process of bad situations that happen to us. Recovery has many valleys. Some days we walk through the "valley of the shadow of death." In the darkness and disorientation of those valleys we may find ourselves filled with despair.
There are times in recovery when it feels as if all we have are tough times. We fear getting lost in the valley and never finding our way out again. We struggle with feelings more intense than any we have experienced before. We struggle with cravings for the substance or behavior to which we are addicted.
Scripture offers us courage and hope in the times of our greatest fear and despair. Scripture tells us that God is with us in our darkest moments. We can walk through the valley of the shadow of death because God walks with us. He protects us. He leads us through the valleys.
May God fill you with the comfort which comes from knowing He is with you even in the toughest times.
God comforts me.
Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10
Many of us struggle with fear. It is a very uncomfortable emotion. We would be happy to be rid of it. It causes our hearts to race, our focus of attention to narrow, and terrible possibilities to enter our minds. We wish we could banish fear from our hearts by sheer will power. We wish we could simply stop feeling afraid. Unfortunately fear is not dismissed so easily.
When God says 'do not fear', it is not a simple imperative from an authority figure. The words "do not fear" are spoken as words of comfort. They are followed by a specific promise of God's presence with us.
A loving parent speaks to a child who awakens from a nightmare with words such as, "Don't be afraid. I'm here with you. You are safe." This is not a rejection of the child's fears. It is not an instruction to do the impossible. It is, rather, a promise of protection. If a parent says only "Don't be afraid," then the child learns that the parent doesn't understand and the child feels unprotected. But if the parent says "Don't be afraid, I'm here with you," the child's needs are validated and the child is comforted by the parent's protection.
God comforts us in the way a loving parent comforts a frightened child. God says to us, "I know that you are afraid; but I also want you to know that I am here with you. I will not leave you. I will give you strength. I will give you help. I will hold you by the hand so that you will not fall".
You know, God,
how often I am afraid.
And you know the soil in which these fears have grown.
And you know how I have struggled to be free from fear.
Help me to draw courage today from your presence.
Be with me.
Give me strength.
Help me.
Uphold me with your hand.
Still my fears, God of all Comfort.
Still my fears with your powerful love.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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God guards my heart
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:20
Sometimes it feels like our hearts are breaking.
And sometimes we worry that we will lose our minds.
Both our hearts and our minds need protection.
When we let go of the defenses that have protected us for so long, and we allow ourselves to be honest and vulnerable, it sometimes feels like we will 'come apart'. In these moments can find courage in God's promise of protection. God's peace can guard our breaking hearts and our troubled minds.
Notice that God's guardianship of our heart and mind is 'in Christ Jesus'. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God is 'for' us. He can be trusted to guard us because he cares about us. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly that God understands the dangers to our hearts and minds. He can be trusted to guard us because he knows from personal experience the dangers we face. It is in Jesus that we see most clearly God's power. He can be trusted to guard our hearts and minds because he has the resources to do what needs to be done.
The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten, that God is with us, that we are loved.
Guard my breaking heart today, Lord.
Guard my troubled mind.
Let your peace do its work in me, Lord.
because I am in danger and I need your protection.
Guard me with your peace today.
Guard my heart and mind.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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God walks with me in the valleys
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4
Sometimes the recovery journey takes us through the valley of the shadow of death. It is a frightening valley.
What a difference it makes in times like this to hear God's promise to be with us. It's not that the fears vanish, they don't always. But we experience them differently when we are not alone. When we are alone our fears can become the focus of our thoughts and feelings - they can consume all of our emotional resources. But when our journey is a shared one, fear does not have the same power over us.
God has made a very specific promise to us when we are going through the most difficult of life's struggles. He has promised to be with us. It's hard to say how God's presence will be made known. Our subjective experience of his presence may vary widely. Sometimes when we least expect it, we may hear the still, small voice of God saying "I am here". Sometimes God will use a friend, a sponsor, a counselor, or someone in a support group to speak to us in ways that help us to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes he will give us a peace that needs no words.
The important reality is that God is with us. God does not come and go in the way our experience of his presence comes and goes. He does not forsake us. He walks with us. Even through deep valleys.
God, I am walking through a difficult valley right now.
Sometimes I think my heart will give way with fear.
Remind me of your presence.
Sometimes I know you are here.
Sometimes I'm sure you have gone.
Are you really here?
Please walk close beside me.
I need your protection.
I need your love.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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God is with me in the depths
If I go to the heavens, you are there;If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.Psalm 139:8
Sometimes life is hell. That's how it feels. It feels like we have taken up residence in hell. Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us. Sometimes we hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again. Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted, a place from which God has turned away.
But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'. There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey. There are no places unfamiliar to God. It is a difficult and painful journey, but our lines of support are not stretched thin. God is not at a distance. He is with us.
If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those times in hell. If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.
No matter where I am, Lord
you are with me.
If I am up, today.
You are here.
If I am down.
You are here.
If I am very, very down.
You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down.
You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope
in the dark times of my recovery.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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God prays for me
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26
When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more that our weary hearts can muster - those are the times we need God's Spirit most of all.
It is life itself to know that God pays attention to us. The Spirit of the Living God is with us and is attentive to our weakness. He does not shame us for our weakness. Our weakness is not a bad thing to him. Our weakness is simply a reality. The Spirit's response to our weakness is to help us. He is on our side. The Spirit knows us and loves us. He knows the pain that crushes us. He helps us in our weakness.
In those moments when we have been silenced by life, the Spirit prays for us. He prays with groans for which there is no language. When we are not able to pray we can find comfort and hope in the promise that the Spirit is praying for us.
Oh God
I need to be reminded when I feel so absolutely alone
that you know my pain,
you know my weakness.
When I come to the end of words,
when my mind is full of confusion,
help me to remember that you pray for me.
When I am overwhelmed with despair,
when I want to give up,
when I want to run away in fear,
it is only your presence,
gentle, powerful Friend,
that gives me hope and strength.
I need your help today.
I need you to pray for me.
Amen
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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God protects me
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.Isaiah 43:2
There are times in the recovery process when it feels like we will drown in sorrow. The losses, the betrayals, the failures threaten to overwhelm us. The intensity of the emotional pain frightens us in times like this. We feel ourselves loosing ground as life swirls around us.
This text states with great clarity two central truths which are critical to our survival in times like this. First, God has made a very specific promise to us. He says "I will be with you." This may not always be what we want. We may want God to take the floods of life away. We may want God to build dams upstream in life so that the danger of flood is diminished. But, his promise is clear. I will be with you.
Secondly, this text says very clearly "When you pass through the waters, they will not sweep over you." God will protect us and see us through. There are times in recovery when there just doesn't seem to be any way to make it. Nothing is more painful in these times than to have someone who stands at a distance express optimism about our recovery in a way that minimizes the struggle. ["Oh, you're going to be fine. Stop worrying about it."] Conversely, nothing is more valuable in these times than to have someone with us who sees the danger clearly but who is able to be hopeful for us and protect us and see us through
For your promise to be with me in the floods of life, God,
I give you thanks.
Help me to sense your presence.
For your hopefulness about my recovery,
I give you thanks.
Help me to share in your hope.
You are Life-Preserver to me, God.
Thank you.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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God leads me when I can't see.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do;I will not forsake them.Isaiah 42:16
God leads blind people along unfamiliar paths. God promises to make rough places smooth for sightless and disoriented people. He will not forsake them.
During recovery we often feel sightless and disoriented. Our abilities to see clearly are often very limited - we don't have enough distance on things to give proper perspective. Denial leaves us blind. Rejected emotions and ignored human needs can also contribute to spiritual and psychological blindness.
So many things in recovery are unfamiliar to us. We are not accustomed to feeling what we feel, to talking about our experiences, or to trusting other people. Honesty is new territory for us. All of this is not only unfamiliar territory, it is scary territory as well.
But it is exactly to people like us that God makes promises. God makes promises to sightless and disoriented people. He will guide. He will give light. He will smooth the rough places. He will not abandon.
I can't see very well, Lord.
I certainly am not familiar with this path, Lord.
Are you sure you know where this leads?
This feels like a pretty rough trail to me, Lord.
Are you sure we can make it?
Be my guide, Lord, I am afraid.
I would be lost without you.
I cannot find my way alone.
Guide me, Lord.
Turn darkness into light.
Make the rough places smooth.
Do not forsake me.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
****Sometimes when I choose to face the music, I find that I can dance to it.****
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