Humor is a very powerful and effective tool that is used in both social life and the work place. It is often used to defuse tension in highly charged situations. Humor enables the control of anxiety in social situations. It makes one feel like one of the group - an insider. As a management tool, it helps relax workers and allow them to more easily return to the task at hand. Like most tools, humor also has its dark side. Humor often takes the forms of "jokes" or "jabs" otherwise known as insults. Interpreting humor allows us to find hidden meaning and ambiguities in the perpetrators statement.
This paper will argue that humor, often times under the guise of good fun, is used to make women feel inferior. Men who tell jokes about women typically are voicing some measure of hostility or conflict toward them whether they recognize it or not. Women tell jokes about other women with the same hidden meanings or conflicts. Humor is often a sign of real conflict in situations where one or both parties choose not to bring the conflict out into the open. Jabs directed towards women are often retaliated against with return jabs. Contestants begin to pitch their wit, venom and courage against each other. A cycle begins that neither party particularly wants, but feel compelled to perpetuate. Insults and retaliation to them are part of a process that establishes lines of domination and subordination, status and power. In order to stem this unhealthy tide, this cycle must be broken.
Insults are not always intentional, as some insults are the result of misunderstanding or accident. However, the experience of being offended and the feelings of shame, guilt and anger are fundamental to insults. An unwritten code develops that says; "One must never pardon an insult, only return one." Cumulatively or individually, jabs amount to harassment.
Ingenuity is one of the features that distinguishes jokes from mere abuse. Jokes depend on timing and should touch a vital nerve. They play on hidden desires and vulnerabilities. Jokes that one finds offensive tend to be incessant. Once a weak spot is noted in a person’s emotional armor, it is targeted again and again until either a callus develops, or the words enter the psyche and begin to cause emotional damage. A few well-chosen words can produce devastating effects, such as crumbling self-esteem, or immense amounts of anger.
In order for the discrimination against women in the form of jokes and jabs to stop, it is necessary to make others aware that this in fact is discrimination. Many people, male and female, think that the best defense against hurtful humor is to be a good sport, able to "take a joke." This behavior will only continue the cycle of joke, counter joke, jab and counter jab. Discrimination is diminished by education. The key to the problem is awareness.
In order to break this jab, counter jab cycle women must first inform the perpetuator that the intended humor is not funny, nor is it appreciated. It is a form of harassment that will not be tolerated. Almost all places of business in the United States have official company policies against harassment of employees. The cycle is very difficult to break. The cycle breaker will almost always experience backlash of peers who label the cycle breaker as someone harmful to company morale or as an outsider, It is easier to simply smile, nod and go about your business. It is important to stand up for your views, don’t smile, and don’t nod. Once people are aware of discrimination, that awareness must be reinforced constantly. People will not go completely back to the standards held before the awareness of discrimination started as long as the reminding is consistent. The key is to talk. The end results are the same.
-By Milton J. Sweet
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