No Nursing Home For Me

This sounds like a great idea!!

About 2 years ago I was on a cruise through the western
Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner I noticed an elderly
lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main
dining room.

I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys,
etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who
the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line,but he said he
only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to
say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship
for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I
don't understand".

She replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and
feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a
nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and
I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have
breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra
$5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask
for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare;
if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you
to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to
go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a
nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S.: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side --
at no charge.