Family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little
eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.


I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."


I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted
today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."


I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days?
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?

Offense

"We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it."
– Abraham Lincoln

About Abraham Lincoln:
Abraham Lincoln, the American president remembered as Honest Abe, is renowned for his strong leadership during the Civil War and for ending slavery in the United States. He was born in a Kentucky cabin in 1809. He taught himself law and passed the Illinois bar in 1837, the same year he first spoke out against slavery. The Southern states seceded in response to his election to the presidency in 1860. Lincoln was assassinated in 1865, mere days after General Robert E. Lee surrendered to end the war.

The Blessing

An unemployed graduate woke up one morning and checked his pocket. All
he had left was $10. He decided to use it to buy food and then wait for
death as he was too proud to go begging. He was frustrated as he could
find no job; nobody was ready to help him.

He bought food and as he sat down to eat, an old man and two little
children came along and asked him to help them with food as they had not
eaten for almost a week. He looked at them. They were so lean that he
could see their bones coming out. Their eyes had gone into the socket.

With the last bit of compassion he had, he gave them the food. The old
man and children prayed for him that will bless and prosper him and then
gave him a very old coin. The young graduate said to them "you need the
prayer more than I do". With no money, no job, no food, the young
graduate went under the bridge to rest and wait for death.

As he was about to sleep, he saw an old newspaper on the floor. He picked it up,
and suddenly he saw an advertisement for people with old coins to come
to a certain address.

He decided to go there with the old coin the old man gave him. On
getting to the place, he gave the proprietor the coin. Alas, the
proprietor screamed, brought out a big book and showed the young
graduate a photograph. this same old coin was worth $3M.

The young graduate was overjoyed as the proprietor gave him a bank draft for $3M
within an hour. He collected the Bank Draft, went in search of the old
man and little children.

By the time he got to where he left them eating, they had gone. He
inquired from the owner of the canteen who told him that they even left
a note for him.

He quickly opened the note thinking it would lead him to
find them. But alas, the words in the note reads thus:

"You gave us your all and we have rewarded you back with the coin" Signed God the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost. 1 Kings 17:10-16; Matthew 11:28-30.

Have you blessed others when you yourself are in need?

If you haven't, do so today and it may just surprise you. Blessings come on those who bless others. It will always come back to you someday.

An Act Of Love

"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't
win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."
~Richard M. Nixon, 37th President of the United States


Though it rarely our first choice, forgiveness is always a better
option than hatred and retaliation, not because it is an act of
kindness done the enemy, but because it is an act of love we owe
ouselves.
-Kate Nowak

Words Are Powerful

Published June 01, 2006

THURSDAY, June 1 (HealthDay News) -- Belittling, shaming or threatening a child may be as detrimental to the young victim as physical or sexual abuse, new research suggests.

Repeated verbal abuse from parents can contribute to depression and anxiety that lasts well into adulthood, researchers at Florida State University in Tallahassee report.

The study, published in The Journal of Affective Disorders, evaluated the impact of verbal abuse on the mental health of more than 5,600 people, aged 15-54. Thirty percent of participants admitted to being verbally abused both sporadically and frequently by their parents as a child.

"Those who were verbally abused had 1.6 times as many symptoms of depression and anxiety as those who had not been verbally abused and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder in their lifetime," study author Natalie Sachs-Ericsson, an FSU professor, said in a prepared statement.

Poor self-esteem triggered by verbal abuse during childhood continues into adulthood, allowing the symptoms of anxiety and depression to settle, the researchers said.

Keep Your Kids Out Of Your Divorce

Don't involve them in parental disputes.

(HealthDayNews) – Divorce can wreak havoc in children's lives, and while there is no step-by-step manual for steering your kids through this traumatic time, there are some common sense guidelines that may make adjustments easier.

If you're going through a divorce, The Nemours Foundation suggests you:

* Encourage your kids to talk as openly as they can about their feelings, positive or negative.
* Don't bad mouth your estranged spouse in front of your children, no matter how angry you are.
* Avoid using your kids as messengers or go-betweens.
* If there's someone new in your life, expect resistance from your children.
* Seek out support groups, counseling, and friends in similar situations.

– Felicity Stone

A Good Clean Joke

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

Through the Eyes Of a Rapist

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were
interviewed on what they look for in a potential
victim and here are some interesting facts :

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim
is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman
with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that
can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go
after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair
are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They
will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove
quickly. Many of them carry scissors around
specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone,
searching through their purseor doing other activities
while walking because they are off guard and can be
easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early
morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted
from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number
two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is
public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking
to grab a woman and quickly move her to another
location where they don't have to worry about getting
caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape
carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is
15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get
discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for
them to realize that going after you isn't worth it
because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who
have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be
used from a distance, face in their hands. Keys are
not a deterrent because you have to get really close
to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea
is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If
someone is following behind you on a street or in a
garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look
them in the face and ask them a question, like what
time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't
believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad
winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify
them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your
hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most
of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a
woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not
be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for
an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a
huge advocate of itand carries it with him wherever he
goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out
will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with
strength but you can by out smarting them. If you are
grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the
attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and
armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD One
woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the
underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape
her and was so upset she broke through the skin and
tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try
pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can
stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I
know from a particularly unfortunate experience that
if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You
might think that you'll anger the guy and make him
want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists
told our instructor is that they want a woman who will
not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and
he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his
first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible
with as much pressure pushing down on them as
possible. He'll likely end up on his knees.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply.
Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone
with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,
don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may
feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much
worse if the guy really was trouble.

Clean Living May Make Us Sick

By SETH BORENSTEIN, AP Science Writer

WASHINGTON - Gritty rats and mice living in sewers and farms seem to have healthier immune systems than their squeaky clean cousins that frolic in cushy antiseptic labs, two studies indicate. The lesson for humans: Clean living may make us sick.

The studies give more weight to a 17-year-old theory that the sanitized Western world may be partly to blame for soaring rates of human allergy and asthma cases and some autoimmune diseases, such as Type I diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis. The theory, called the hygiene hypothesis, figures that people's immune systems aren't being challenged by disease and dirt early in life, so the body's natural defenses overreact to small irritants such as pollen.

The new studies, one of which was published Friday in the peer reviewed Scandinavian Journal of Immunology, found significant differences in the immune systems between euthanized wild and lab rodents.

When the immune cells in the wild rats are stimulated by researchers, "they just don't do anything they sit there; if you give them same stimulus to the lab rats, they go crazy," said study co-author Dr. William Parker, a Duke University professor of experimental surgery. He compared lab rodents to more than 50 wild rats and mice captured and killed in cities and farms.

Also, the wild mice and rats had as much as four times higher levels of immunoglobulins, yet weren't sick, showing an immune system tuned to fight crucial germs, but not minor irritants, Parker said. He said what happened in the lab rats is what likely occurs in humans: their immune systems have got it so cushy they overreact to smallest of problems.

"Your immune system is like the person who lives in the perfect house and has all the food they want, you're going to start worrying about the little things like someone stepping on your flowers," Parker said.

Challenged immune systems — such as kids who grow up with two or more pets — don't tend to develop as many allergies, said Dr. Stanley Goldstein, director of Allergy & Asthma Care of Long Island.

Parker said his study has drawbacks because he can't be sure that the age of the wild and lab rodents are equivalent, although he estimates the ages based on weight. He also could not control what happened in the past to the wild rats to see if they had unusual diseases before being captured and killed.

It would have been more useful had Parker studied extremely young wild rodents because, according to the hygiene hypothesis, that's when the protection from dirty living starts, said Dr. Stuart Levy, director of the Center for Adaptation Genetics and Drug Resistance at Tufts University.

Human epidemiological studies have long given credence to the hygiene theory, showing that allergy and asthma rates were higher in the cleaner industrialized areas than in places such as Africa. Parker's studies, looking at animal differences, may eventually help scientists find when, where and how environmental exposure help protect against future allergies and immune disorders, said Goldstein, and Dr. Jeffrey Platt of the Mayo Clinic in Minn., both of whom were not part of Parker's studies.

Parker said he hopes to build a 50-foot artificial sewer for his next step, so that he could introduce the clean lab rats to an artificial dirty environment and see how and when the immunity was activated.

That may be the biggest thing to come out of the wild and lab rodent studies, Platt said: "Then all of a sudden it becomes possible to expose people to the few things (that exercise the immune system) and gives them the benefit of the dirty environment without having to expose them to the dirt."

A Sudden Change Of Mind

My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.

Yours always and truly,
John

P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

Why Men Fear Marriage

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

Like Father, Like Husband?

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

Finding Perfect Men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

Creating A New Beginning

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a
butterfly."
~Richard Bach, American Author

No matter what might be happening in your life right now, take a
deep breath, relax and let your thoughts be still. Just as darkness
gives way to dawn, so does despair create a new beginning. Never
allow yourself to forget that it is from the darkest moment of the
night that each new sunrise is born.

Securing Your Future

"Put your future in good hands - your own."
~Author Unknown

Though it may not appear to be, your future is yours to mold as you
see fit. Beginning today, make it your goal to use your God-given
talents, whatever they might be, to create a bright and pleasing
future and then daily commit yourself to its excellence, allowing
your inner spirit to inspire you to learn and grow. In this way,
you will not only determine what your future will be, you will be
giving it your own personal brand.

A Conversation With God

Our Father Who Art In Heaven.

"Yes?"

Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.

"But -- you called ME!"

Called you?
No, I didn't call you.
I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven...

"There -- you did it again!"

Did what?

"Called ME.
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am.
What's on your mind?"

But I didn't mean anything by it.
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
kind of like fulfilling a duty.

"Well, all right.
Go on."

Okay, Hallowed be thy name...

"Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?"

By what?

"By "Hallowed be thy name"?"

It means, it means . . good grief,
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?

"It means honored, holy, wonderful."

Hey, that makes sense.
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thanks.

Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven.

"Do you really mean that?"

Sure, why not?

"What are you doing about it?"

Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.
I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control,
of everything down here like you have up there.
We're kinda in a mess down here you know.

"Yes, I know;
but, have I got control of you?"

Well, I go to church.

"That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend your money --
all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read?"

Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!

"Excuse ME.
I thought you were praying
for my will to be done.
If that is to happen,
it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example."

Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.

"So could I."

I haven't thought about it very much until now,
but I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.

"Good.
Now we're getting somewhere.We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You."

Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.

"You need to cut out the bread.
You're overweight as it is."

Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
and all of a sudden you break in
and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.

"Remember,
you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying. ( . . . pause . . )
Well, go on."

I'm scared to.

"Scared? Of what?"

I know what you'll say.

"Try ME."

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

"What about Ann?"

See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me.
I've sworn to get even with her!

"But -- your prayer --"

What about my prayer?
I didn't -- mean it.

"Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that bitterness
and resentment isn't it?"

Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her.
She'll wish she had never been born.

"No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that."

You can? How?

"Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned."

Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right . . all right .
I forgive her.
There now!

"Wonderful!
How do you feel?"

Hmmmm. Well, not bad.
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.

"Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer are you? Go on."

Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

"Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted."

What do you mean by that?

"You know what I mean."

Yeah. I know.

"Okay.
Go ahead. Finish your prayer."

For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Amen.

"Do you know what would bring me glory --
What would really make me happy?"

No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now.
I've really made a mess of things.
I want to truly follow you.
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?

"YOU just did."

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Clinging to a Dream

Sometimes we must experience the hurts of life without benefit of sympathetic counselors or understanding friends. Like Hannah, we must sometimes fight our struggle alone. Yet not really alone, for God is always a prayer away.

Selections from 1 Samuel 1:10-17 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Deeply hurt, Hannah prayed to the Lord and wept with many tears. Making a vow, she pleaded, "Lord of Hosts, if You will take notice of Your servant's affliction, remember and not forget me, and give Your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life.". . . Although her lips were moving, her voice could not be heard. Eli thought she was drunk. . . . "Oh no, my lord," Hannah replied. . . . "I've been praying from the depth of my anguish and resentment.". . .

Eli responded, "Go in peace and may the God of Israel grant the petition that you've requested from Him."

Look At It This Way

Never dream without prayer. When we talk to others about the dreams in our lives, we often get blind stares of disinterested discouragement - roadblocks, rejection. But when we take our dreams to God, we begin an adventurous journey of faith. It may mean being broken along the way, but only to let our dream escape. It may mean going through seasons of searching, but only to determine how much of our dream is selfish - and to prove how badly we really want God's way. Prayer keeps holy dreams alive.

Hannah was tested. Her rival-as-wife, Peninnah, taunted her relentlessly. Hannah was further upset each time she went to the temple at Shiloh. There, in the midst of families going to offer their worship and their sacrifices, she felt all alone without a child.

When his two wives were at each other's throats, Elkanah would try to smooth things over by asking, "Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" What she needed and longed to hear from him was that she meant more to him than ten sons. God was using everyone in this woman's life to test her.

We are tested so our character will match our dreams. Christian character is a work in progress for us as believers. When God gives us a dream, we may need a lot of work on and in our lives to enable us to handle the dream. Our sufficiency and strength should always be in God - and God alone. As with Hannah, it usually is a pretty good clue that the test or the dream is from God when things don't work out easily. The greater the dream, the greater the testing.

- Jim Henry

Final Thought

Do you have a dream that feels like it's dying in your life? Don't give up. Take it to God in prayer today. And trust Him to do more with your dream than you could ever do yourself.

God's Dream and Your Dream

DON'T LET ANYONE, EVER, STEAL YOUR DREAMS OR YOUR FAITH.

-- SINCE IT IS, IN TRUTH, HIS DREAM THAT YOU HAVE FAITH IN HIM!!!

No matter the setbacks, no matter the experience (good or bad), no matter whether you know of an example anywhere or anytime, no matter how many times you may have been "hurt", no matter who goes with you, or NOT... Be one of the few with "the faith of Abraham" that will remain "unwavering, fully persuaded, giving glory to God!" even if you are "as good as dead". That's when He does His best Work.

The Lego Church

No matter your religious belief, this is utterly amazing...

A few quick facts:

How long to build it?

It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.




How many pieces of LEGO to build it?

More than 75,000


How big is it?

About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2mx1.7 m x .76 > m)

How many lego people does it seat?

1372

How many windows?

3976

It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics, a nave, a baptistry, an alter, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.

On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand

-By Michael Peters

Beyond question, we will be pressed beyond our ability to endure in this present age. The confusion and heartache of these short days in this three-dimensional realm are unavoidable. The "communication" are relational issues, with us since Cain and the Tower of Babel, will always be one step, one illusion away. Our own "weak flesh" and personal failures, unrealized dreams, and self-deceptions are ever before us. Financial strain, physical illness, loneliness, employment uncertainty, fears related to education or children's or parents well-being, or shelter or food -- these are a part our existence here on earth, as they have been in some form or another since the dawn of man, in every nation and tribe worldwide.

SO, how should we view these often agonizing and throbbing, blinding difficulties?

Certainly, step back and understand that GOD IS SOVEREIGN and His Plans are to prosper, and not to harm us. Certainly, embrace that "ALL things work together for the Good" if we are focused on loving Him and His Purposes, and not our own. Of course, we need to rest is the Assurance that we are only here in these "situations" for a few days ("a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as a day" in Father's Realm, in which we are "seated with Christ"). As a friend once said, after a brutal camping trip in icy rain and mud, "I figure I can do anything for two days." :) Can't we? Can't we lean back and appreciate the complex "weave" of interesting obstacles and tests and "circuit training" apparatus Jesus has put in front of us to Teach us a myriad of Lessons that we would never "grasp" from simply reading someone else's story? Dad is an AMAZING Teacher. His creativity in object lessons and tests and trials, all designed to Refine and strengthen and train, even in our failures, is astounding and encouraging beyond belief. He is SOVEREIGN. Hallelujah!

Yes, it is challenging at times, as our brother and fellow pilgrim Paul said, "beyond our ability to endure." And yet, can't we "do anything for a couple of days" if we really set our hearts to it, "no take-backs"? Even with the "king-sized" blunders and sins that destroy men and women who have not known our God, we can go forward, knowing He is REDEEMER and friend. He is Sovereignly advancing His own Cause, training the scrawny and puny to be men and women of Holy War, humbling the proud, and sheltering the helpless.

His Plan never WAS that you could "get" what you "want" out of life. :) His Holy Call is that YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE AWAY FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE, with no expectations of any kind. That's the basis and power of Christ (Anointed) Life. There's nothing to "get". There's nothing to "look at" or "have". There is no temple there, no beauty or majesty. The Lord God Almighty and the LAMB are our Temple. Our fulfillment and our satisfaction, our very great reward, are in HIM. Can we do that for "a couple of days" until it all gets clear for us as we see Him face to face? Can we give what we don't "want" to give, for His sake alone? Can we focus and "stay the course" even when the challenges are "large" - from our limited perspective, at least?

At a place called Pinehurst, in North Carolina, in the United States, there is currently a golf tournament being held, known as the US Open, the national championship. At the end of the first day of the tournament, yesterday, a golfer named Rocco Mediate was tied for the lead. Rocco is one of those many "stories" of someone "overcoming adversity" to achieve. He was, just a year ago, almost crippled with back spasms. He was hard pressed to decide if he wanted to endure the pain and self-discipline of his sixth rehabilitation in twelve years. But, he decided to train his body and lose 30 pounds. He changed his swing, his conditioning, his equipment, and his attitude -- and is now achieving world-class results. At a dumb little game called "golf."

Some insight into "how" Rocco found the inner strength to take on rehabilitation and face his "insurmountable" problems -- rather than walk away and quit?

"I don't want to do anything else," he said. "I have no backup plan; never had a backup plan."

I think it is a breakthrough moment or season for any of us, as followers of Jesus, when we dump the "movement" mentality, the "what can I get out of this?" mindset, the "what will others think if I am totally devoted to Jesus and Truth?" cowardice -- and decide to LAY DOWN OUR LIVES FOR OTHERS, FOR THE LAMB, AND FOR HIS UNDILUTED TRUTH -- for these "couple of days" we are here. With "no take-backs."

I WILL SERVE MY GOD SACRIFICIALLY, WITH NOTHING FOR MYSELF, AND I HAVE NO BACKUP PLAN! Through failures, or attacks, through illness or broken carnal dreams, "though none go with me, still I will follow." I HAVE NO BACKUP PLAN!

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."

Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

He said to another man, "Follow me."

But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."

Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good bye to my family."

Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

Let's embrace His Training, our "Boot Camp" of Learning to walk in His Ways and Character and Hear His Voice, without complaint...

WE HAVE NO BACKUP PLAN...

and need none!

Letting Go

John 12: 25 "Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

Let go of perceived needs, personal cravings, and unconsecrated human desires....

1. The need to be entertained, to do something enjoyable, to have fun or pleasure. To have "breaks" and mini-2 or -3 hr, or days or week-long "vacations" from taking responsibility and pursuing the life of Jesus with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. Flesh says, "If I don't have these breaks, how will I survive and be happy? How will I pass the time? How will I bear having to take responsibility for myself and others, 100% of the time?

God promises that He will never give me more than I can bear and that He will take care of all my needs. The things I crave in the physical world don't really fill me. They are fleeting, here and gone. And with it goes sensitive, listening ears...my spirit dulled and smothered. The Love of God drains away from my heart. For what? Nothing.

God promises that HE WILL FILL ME. He will satisfy me.

"Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compasssion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Psalm 103:2-5.

A quote from "The Purity Principle": "When I see that God offers me joys and pleasures that sin does not, this is a breakthrough. But that breakthrough will come only when I pursue God, making Him the object of my quest." So we've got to be proactive in supplanting our selfish, fear-driven, desires by sowing to a Real pursuit of God. Instead of the worldly way of filling self...Pursue THIS as your heart cry:

"O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water.

I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory.

Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise you!

I will honor you as long as i live, and in your name i will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

With singing lips my mouth will praise you.

I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the watches of the night.

I think how much you have helped me;

I sing for joy in the shadow of your protecting wings.

My soul clings to you; your strong right hand holds me securely." Ps 63:1-8 (NLT, NIV)

2. The need to "belong" or to be noticed, invited, considered, included, loved, appreciated.

"Why doesn't anyone ever think of me?" "Nobody ever invites me..." "What about ME?" "Look at all I do and what do I get?"

Clearly, those are very ugly, selfish human desires for love, attention, and affection that we're tempted to fight for in a human way. God says the opposite. Jesus never once allowed Himself to think that way and feed the selfish desires. Lose all of that and LET IT GO...if you want to find TRUE Life and TRUE Love in Jesus. When you grab after those desires, feelings, and affirmations for yourself, a few things happen:

a) You immediately cut off the freedom of a precious love-relationship and adoration of God. You cut off oneness with Him AND His people and immediately experience loneliness, isolation, self-pity, sulkiness, paranoia, depression, accusations, criticalness, and /or bitterness. As those desires and thoughts suck energy to yourself, all arrows point toward YOU. All channels of thought and energy pour down the dark drain that stops at YOU, with God nowhere in sight. Then you are miserable.

b) More importantly, you grieve God's Spirit very much and immediately cut-off any possibility of bringing pleasure to Father's heart. He cannot smile because ONLY Jesus-directed, buried-in-trusting-Him kind of faith gives Father's heart the Joy and satisfaction He deserves. It's His satisfaction that we must be after! A Great paradox of the kingdom is that bringing HIM deep satisfaction and pleasure is the only way our own personal souls and hearts find deep satisfaction and right pleasure. "If we lose our life in this world, we will find life." The temptation that screams at us comes from the in-born human nature that says, "If I could only have ________(happiness, pleasure, fun, notice, attention, affection, friendships, good times, involvement, entertainment, toys), THEN I'll be happy." Every human being is born with it in the flesh-man. But once saved , washed and born into New Life, we are given the LIFE OF JESUS within our very bones! He was caught up in such love and desire for His God and Father! That too is OUR NEW LIFE! We drink in long drinks of fresh water when we know Him - no longer polluted by the flesh man's sewer water. "Since you have heard all about him and have learned the truth that is in Jesus, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a NEW NATURE because you are a NEW PERSON, created in God's likeness - righteous, holy, and true." Eph. 4: 21-24.We shed the old way of thinking and aggressively pursue the Father's happiness and good pleasure found in Jesus. And that ONLY comes about by Emptying ourselves like Jesus did before us...we take up our crosses and follow after Him with nothing left to pursue or gain for our own.

"It is better to give than to receive."

"I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." (Mt. 20:28).

Another branch of this self-directed thought with pseudo-spiritual shellac on it, goes like this "People and God need to give me things and include me and think about me and my children. Otherwise how will I or they bloom in Christ and be a part of things?"

That's got self at its root. God says, "you seek first the kingdom" and lay down your life for others and He'll take care of every need you have. EVERY need. We don't run after our own material goods OR our own welfare like the pagans do. Not to mention that "being somewhere" doesn't make you a part of His Body any more than slapping a piece of clay on your skin makes it a part of you. Faith in Jesus, His Blood and Responsiveness to Him as my head is my job. And He promises that as I trust Him and place my full weight on Him alone as my help, and all in all, He makes me one with others who belong to Him. It is attained not by striving or putting pressure on others or demanding. It is attained by spiritual means of LAYING DOWN what i want, not striving for it. Oneness is a product of death to self, coupled with tangible heart transactions of faith and loyalty to God and His work. And wrought out in being a servant of others. "Father, make us One." It is a miracle that comes from GOD, based on the finished work of Jesus on the cross and a HEART of total, absolute trust in that Work, toward His Risen Son, Jesus - buried in Him, believing Him, having ONLY Him as my satisfaction. Only He satisfies my heart. Oneness doesn't come by proximity alone.

3. The need to feel good about myself and be happy and content with life on my terms and according to the things I enjoy and what is comfortable for me. I'd rather only do things that I can control and that are comfortable, predictable and safe. Don't ask me to step outside my comfort zone, physically or spiritually.

"I don't want pain or discomfort. I don't want to have to deal with sin in myself and the turmoil, emotions and 'fight' that come with it. I don't want to go through conflict, pain or struggle. I want things to be peaceful and smooth. If i ask Him to change me and show me things, it might hurt or be humiliating, or expose something I'd be embarrassed about (pride). Something might come out and people might think poorly of me. I'm a Christian and Christians aren't supposed to have sins like I might have."

"And don't ask me to give up my sleep or change my eating habits (or any habits) or give honest and penetrating examination to my methods of child-raising, or business dealings. I don't mind serving here and there when I'm feeling good about it, but don't ask me to actually CHANGE anything."

This is self-preservation and downright un-Christian. You are protecting your own interests - your own SELF- interests. You want a padded cross, if any at all. You want God on your own terms. If that's your attitude, you are either barely alive, content with a pathetic perpetual babyhood, or don't know Him at all. You are trying to stay "safe," unbothered and comfortable, when in reality you are only harming yourself and Jesus, deeply, and isolating yourself from True growth and the Giver of Life. Put yourself in that driver's seat and you will shrivel on the Vine.

But a true heart for God WANTS to be pruned. Though cautiously and humbly we invite Him for tests and pruning, we ask Him nonetheless...because a holy, set apart life is our desire! We want to be pleasing and useful to Him. We know we need to "learn obedience through the things we suffer." "For the Joy set before us." We don't resent or push away or hide from those sufferings. We deeply desire to be changed so He can be glorified! We want to behold Him. We want to get the crud out of our lives and have LIGHT and TRUTH expose us. We want to be seen for who we really are. We want the great Physician to diagnose our tragic condition and apply His cure. Please, Jesus, teach us to trust You, and touch our lives...

4. The need to have a reputation, be well-thought of or have people like me.

This hinders us from confessing sin, or digging deeply into our hearts to bring things out. We are afraid of losing our reputation - what people think of us - how they perceive me. (we assume they perceive us well!) If you are "preserving" this, you are cherishing a wicked thing! This is aspiration for self to be built up and directly opposes the idea of Jesus being honored with our lives. The two are diametrically opposed. You cannot serve two masters.

You'll be tempted to skirt the truth about yourself in a circumstance or situation. You'll be tempted to water-down Truth and deceive yourself and find loopholes to prove your innocence. By holding on to your desire to have people admire you, respect you, like you, be well-thought of, you've made yourself a prison, so you are far from free! Far from free to Love Jesus or other people in a supernatural way. You may have a natural, human "love" that does nice things or "serves" but if at the core, you desire people's admiration, respect, attention or friendship, then those things you do are for self, not Jesus. Any of these thoughts should be a big red flag to you:

"If I stay out of trouble, they will like me."

"If I do nice things, they will like me."

"If I smile and am happy and pleasant, people will want me around."

"I dare not confess much if anything at all, because then what will people think of me?"

5. The need or desire to feel or be spiritual, to be "used of God" and "on track" with Jesus.

First of all, we probably have misconceptions about what "being spiritual" even looks like. It's bloody, painful, and very costly to walk closely with Jesus. The more we are like Him, follow Him and obey His Father, the more grueling it becomes. More and more glory, fullness and wisdom, but ohhhh, the pain. Our view of "what being spiritual means" is likely carnal. Otherwise we wouldn't so quickly desire it! If we REALLY saw the price and pain....."Oh i just wish i could have nails driven into by hands and beat up, hated, mocked, deserted and be a total stench to everyone around me including my friends." Is THAT what you crave??? Hmmmm...Or do you really just want to "feel good," be used of God, be important. Those who truly walk with God and defend Truth are HATED, spat on, resented, despised. All rights are stripped. No privacy. Nothing kept for self.

To be useful comes with a continual towel and a washbasin. To have blessings of the kingdom - 100 mothers, lands, possessions etc -also comes with persecution, don't forget! John 12 - Follow me - to death. Picking up a cross HURTS. IF we saw it properly, we wouldn't want it! If you want it, it's your flesh wanting something besides the REAL Jesus. Having devos, cool things to say, being involved, being in the know, being useful, feeling good about things...blah, blah. It's a shallow, selfish deception and NOT what it means to be a truly spiritual man or woman.

Jesus never taught us to "seek to be spiritual." He taught us to "seek first the Kingdom." Fix your eyes on Jesus, not on what you THINK it will bring you! Desire HIM only and His satisfaction vs. feelings, "highs" and feel-good feedback.

Isaiah 53:10-11 (NLT)

"But it was the Lord's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord's plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners."

6. Fear of not being satisfied or sustained or filled or happy. Fear of not having assurances and guarantees and a place to fall back to. Fear of losing control completely and not being the final decision maker at times of my choosing.

"Sure, I want to give Him myself and sure I try to let His ways shape most of my choices. But do I give Him the reigns COMPLETELY?" Got to let go of the fear of giving myself to His work all day, every day. Fear that i will "burn out" be exhausted, die of work, not be happy, will be too weary and sad and listless and lose vitality. Fear of no fun, no rest, exhaustion. It'll be too much to bear the emotion, drain, intensity. I'm afraid to give myself and emotions to complete obedience. I see how much it cost you, Jesus, and others...I see the cost and don't believe I'd be able to sustain that "level" of intensity and focus. I'm not that kind of person who can live in such intensity, to commit myself, and give myself wholly over.

God promised me that He would give me only what I can bear. He would never allow me to be tempted to the point of HAVING to sin, without providing a way out. All things are towards the end of changing me to be like Him. He doesn't ask me to conquer the whole Land at once, otherwise I'd be overwhelmed by the enemies. Rather, He meters out to me just what I need in just the right time and way. I can trust in Him for this, one day at a time.

7. Expectations to enjoy life and get something nice out of it.

"I'll reserve some rights for my self. To make sure this happens, I'll retain some control, some ownership of some things in my life, some decision making powers. The need to get something out of life for myself, my pleasure, my satisfaction."

Let this go for real. Give up any such hope or desire. Let go of my goals to be fulfilled in what "I" think will make me happy. Really let go of all desire to "get something" out of life for my own pleasure.

Yet when I am "filled" with what "I" want, I have a hard time believing that God can fill me or would fill me with something so much better! I shun unbelief and selfishness! His Word says:

"Unless you COMPLETELY lose your life, (rights, time, choices, decisions, comforts, preferences) you won't find true life."

8. Jealousies, comparisons, striving and wanting to be better than others.

These are obvious. No one Grows Spiritually while holding on to these sins of self-advancement and pride. Our need to "let go" of things being equal, "fair" (from our perception!), or making sense to our minds is essential. We get jealous of God's plan for others and it is wrong. We too often judge by external measures, and in the process slander God, because we think He somehow has robbed me of something and that He gives less of Himself to me. So very wrong. So wrongly motivated to think that way. God does not play favorites. He blesses all who TRUST in Him. When we harbor bad thoughts about what others have that we don't, we impugn God's character and malign His love for us. We wrongly, hurtfully accuse Him.

I can trust that He will supply exactly what I need in HIS way - in a perfect way for me. Again, my job is to fix my eyes on the Lamb who was slain for me and worship Him for His Kindness and Love and Mercy. Repent of SELF and pour my energy into letting go and being a servant.

"Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him." Psalm 32:10

9. Rights to uninterrupted time and space and privacy.

Ever felt like someone or something is making an imposition on your time and space? I have. Going along doin' my thing and someone "interrupts" my space. I want to get frustrated and impatient, short or terse. This is not like Jesus. If you perpetually view life through the lens of "my life is not my own," and that God is sovereign over every detail...sins like these will fall away.

"My judgment is just for I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me." John 5:30

"Not my will but yours be done."

If I empty myself of all these needs...if I really let go of them with my heart....do I really believe that Jesus can fill me with something better? Do I really believe that He can fill my heart and needs and desires - which at times seem like a very large unfillable space? It SEEMS like it's too large for God to fill those kinds of needs. If I lose control, lose rights to decide, lose my decision making powers...Just contemplating "letting go," I can feel this place inside of me that will be empty. And I guess that's right to feel that way. Otherwise it wouldn't cost me or require true trust in Jesus to "let go." Do I believe He can fill that place with Himself, His Love, His expressions, His ideas, His desires and wants? Do I believe I will be completely satisfied if I "let go?" If I don't have my cushion of comfort to fall back on...if i don't have this "thing" i need in order to make my life happy, secure or comfortable, what will be there instead? What will happen to me? This feels risky and costly! This is what FAITH in Jesus the person is all about! He is ALIVE! When I believe without seeing and trust without knowing and let go with all abandon. He knows every last detail of me, down to those subtle and not so subtle fears I have. He understands and wants to fill those places with Himself and teach and show me the meaning of "In Him, I live and move and have my being." I CAN let go and I WILL trust Him to take care of me and fill every last thing that I would ever need, physical, spiritual or emotional.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life.... Your heavenly Father knows what you need..." Mt. 6:25

"Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Eph. 3:20.

"After the suffering of his soul, He will see the Light of Life and be satisfied." Isaiah 53.

His end objective for my life is TRUSTworthy. He "fills" me in a way I won't be able to predict, foresee or understand. My job is to relinquish and release unconsecrated desires, personal cravings, and perceived needs. To let go and trust Him for His filling power and fulfilling Life that brings Holy, Spiritual freedom. Freedom to live by the Spirit instead of shackled to all these things I feel I need-deserve-desire-crave-want.

Father, you will satisfy me with all good things, in my soul and spirit if I let go and seek you first in all things. I don't understand how it "works" but I know it is TRUE. That You, God, will satisfy my every need, longing and desire if I LET GO and trust that You will satisfy in Your way by Your means. I will let you be Creative with me and I will let You show me Your faithfulness. I will be patient, non-demanding, not expecting on my terms. I will trust You to take care of me, fill me and satisfy my needs and longings. Amen.

I Will Learn To Love Again

-Song by Kaci Lyrics
Soundtrack of the movie The Perfect Man

(To love again...)

drowning in tears that wont be me
I will soon be free from all these chains of all this pain inside
and though I cry it wont be long till I regain the strength to know
I can go on
I will find my way through the heartbreak I will not give up on love
I believe

*I will learn to love again I will learn to trust
once this heart can mend
I will learn to
Learn to love again

all of these tears time will dry them I will survive them
and make it through into another day all of this pain
time will heal it there’ll be a time sometime I know
I will be feel it
I will live through life without you after the hurting is done
I believe

Chorus

I will find someone who deserves my touch after all the hurt is through
I will be so over you I will not give up on love
I believe yeah

Chorus

Oh yeah yeah oh oh love again

(To love again...)

[Thanks to matthew for lyrics]

The Perfect Man

****If you are a single parent (like me) who has low self-esteem (like me) and can't seem to find the perfect man (like me), watch this movie, please! It is all about loving yourself enough to not date losers but wait for the One who is right for you. It is all about not running away from life because of past heartaches. They are lessons I need to learn.

The Perfect Man:

Single mother Jean (Heather Locklear) moves every time she gets her heart broken by another guy, much to the dismay of her teenager daughter, Holly (Hilary Duff). Holly devises a plan to invent a secret admirer for her mother, so she'll be happy and stop moving. Holly overhears her friend Amy's (Vanessa Lengies) uncle Ben (Chris Noth) ordering flowers for a woman, and decides to use his advice on women (which she aquires by telling him she needs help for a school project on romance). Following Ben's advice, she sends her mother orchids and other gifts and love notes, and is soon communicating with her mother as this fictitious admirer (who Holly names Ben) via the internet. As her mother becomes more interested, Holly has to find a photo of this admirer (she sends one of the real Ben), and then devise a reason they can't meet in person (she claims he is working in China).

While she is developing the cyber romance between her mother and fake Ben, and preventing her mother and the real Ben from meeting in person, she finds herself drawn to a cute, artistic boy in her class, Adam (Ben Feldman), but is unwilling to get close to anyone due to her history of being uprooted and having to say goodbye so often.

As the charade continues, and as Holly spends more time with Ben while picking his brain for romance tips, she slowly begins to see qualities in Ben which make her believe he is her mother's 'perfect man.' Unfortunately there is no way her mother can ever meet the real Ben without Holly's plan being exposed. The rest...well, you have to watch and see.

Want To Get Married?

By Ann Marsh

If you’re ready to find The One online, try this seven-step plan, which was created by a woman who achieved her dream after dating around for just six months.

Isn’t it romantic when two people who weren’t even looking for love crash carts at the grocery store... and end up married? While this does happen, not everyone is so lucky to stumble their way to the altar. If you’re still haunting the organic food section two decades later hoping to meet your husband (like I was), stop wasting your time. There is a better way.

Just over four years ago, I signed onto Match.com with the intention of finding my husband. Six months and more than 100 dates later, I did. (As you might have surmised if you just did the math, I was between jobs at the time and had a lot of free time on my hands.) Given the sheer number of dates I experienced, out of necessity I developed my own set of guidelines that I observed faithfully to find the right guy. Since then, several of my friends have met their mates online by making use of my experience—and don’t worry, they devoted as little as 30 minutes a day to the hunt! So if you’re also serious about getting serious, give these guidelines a try.

Step 1: Post your wish right in your profile
Don’t worry about scaring people off with your honesty. You can work the subject into your personal statement subtly so that you don’t sound like a bounty hunter. You might say, “When the time is right, and I meet the right person, I’m eager to get married and have a family.” That’s almost word-for-word what I put in my profile. Remember that millions of other people feel the same way, but are scared to admit it. (Why is that? I think it’s crazy.) At the largest online dating sites, you can literally scare off millions of people and still be overwhelmed with choices. I received hundreds of emails from men who knew I was interested in marriage because I’d said so. Since the subject was already “on the table,” I felt fine talking about it, too.

Step 2: If you want to be courted, let them email you first
I’ve learned that finding a mate requires starting off on the right foot from the very first email. The first person to initiate contact will, in all likelihood, be the pursuer for the duration of the relationship, including marriage. Incredible, but true. In many of my past relationships I was the initiator. But I often ended up in relationships with men who didn’t court me because, simply, they didn’t like me all that much. My husband, on the other hand, is still the pursuer today. He still courts me. And I still have the very first email he sent me.

Step 3: Don’t get physical until you’re sure he’s The One
Whoa! This is a counter-cultural message! You’d never hear the characters on Sex and The City acting this way (if they did, of course, there wouldn’t be a show). But I figured that the fastest way to find your mate online is by dating a lot of people. The only way to date many people simultaneously and not lose your mind is by not getting physical with anyone. That’s because having sex, I learned, floods your system with a neurotransmitter called oxytocin, which bonds you to that person whether you like it or not. But by not bonding prematurely, your head stays clear. Incredibly, I didn’t even kiss anyone (yes, I was tempted). If asked, I would tell a date that I was holding off on anything physical until I knew I was in a committed relationship—one leading to marriage. I don’t know if saying this scared anyone off. If it did, then that was a good thing!

Step 4: Date at least three people at a time
“Dating one person is over-focus. Two is either-or. And three is balance,” says psychologist Pat Allen, author of Getting To I Do. That way, if a seeming prospect suddenly disappears, which happened to me several times, you won’t feel as crushed knowing you’ve got several new dates lined up. Because you aren’t getting physically involved with anyone, your dates will be much more accepting of your seeing other people should the subject arise. If it does, you can honestly say, “I plan to continue dating several people until I find the right one and am ready to commit.” Stick to it. When dating online, especially, finding a mate is a numbers game. By dating several men at once, I met more men more quickly and, being able to compare them to each other, I felt more sure I’d met the right guy when I did.

Step 5: Give guys a second — and third — try
Many women toss out great prospects because they aren’t swept off their feet instantly. Remember that men who sweep you off your feet right away might be a little too practiced in the art. You’ve got to wonder who else he’s swept away that week. Look for substance. I went out with several men multiple times whom I didn’t feel terribly attracted to initially but liked for one reason or another. It was good discipline. I fell in love with my husband by getting to know him gradually (although, after our first date, I did catch myself telling friends that I might marry him).

Step 6: Once you find him, don’t be afraid to bring up marriage…
I didn’t sleep with my husband until we’d figured out we were on the marriage track. In fact, I brought the subject up right before we got into the sack. One romantic night when things were getting steamy, I gently put on the brakes by mouthing the exact words Pat Allen suggested I use: “Is this an exclusive, committed relationship? And are we headed to marriage? I’m not ready to make love with you or anyone else until it is.” It wasn’t a threat so I didn’t say it that way. It was just the truth. He said yes. Remember, if you’ve followed these guidelines, marriage will already be “on the table,” so it won’t sound like you’ve suddenly started speaking Swahili when raising the subject.

Step 7: …and then bring it up again
I admit it: My husband will tell you I was pushy. But every couple of months, I’d bring up the subject of marriage again. I simply asked him when he was planning to propose. Granted, this is a lot easier when you’re confident your boyfriend is in love with you, and all the previous guidelines help in this regard. Talking about it did take some of the mystery out of the process, but I preferred that to the prospect of dating aimlessly for years. I repeatedly told myself, “You are worth a man who wants you completely. Not just tonight, this week or this month.” Finally, a little over a year after we met, he brought up the subject on his own, when he proposed. We were married two years and five days after our first date.

Freelance writer Ann Marsh has appeared on Oprah to discuss her dating experiences. Her first book, Copy This!, was published in September.

I Married A Real Snake...No Joke

Jun 02 1:43 PM US/Eastern

A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state.

Bimbala Das wore a silk saree for the ceremony Wednesday at Atala village near the Orissa state capital Bhubaneswar.

Priests chanted mantras to seal the union, but the snake failed to come out of a nearby ant hill where it lives, the Press Trust of India (PTI) said.

A brass replica snake stood in for the hesitant groom.

"Though snakes cannot speak nor understand, we communicate in a peculiar way," Das, 30, told the agency.

"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.

"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me," she added.

Villagers welcomed the wedding in the belief it would bring good fortune and laid on a feast for the big day.

Snakes and particularly the King Cobra are venerated in India as religious symbols worn by Lord Shiva, the god of destruction.

Das, from a lower caste, converted to the animal-loving vegetarian Vaishnav sect whose local elders gave her permission to marry the cobra, the world's largest venomous snake that can grow up to five metres.

"I am happy," said her mother Dyuti Bhoi, who has two other daughters and two sons to marry off.

"Bimbala was ill," Bhoi told local OTV channel. "We had no money to treat her. Then she started offering milk to the snake ... she was cured. That made her fall in love."

Das has moved into a hut built close to the ant hill since the wedding.

Earlier this year, a tribal girl was married off to a dog on the outskirts of Bhubaneswar.

Copyright AFP 2005.

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/02/060602155817.4608d3f6.html

More Modern-Day Heroes for Christ

Posted: May 27, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2006 WorldNetDaily.com

I wish I could have been there to witness it myself.

After Judge Joseph H. McKinley Jr. issued a restraining order barring Russell County (Ky.) High School and senior Megan Chapman from including prayer at the school's graduation ceremony, students decided to take matters in their own hands. (Miss Chapman was elected by students last fall as the senior class chaplain.)

In an act of protest to the court order issued just hours before the graduation, about 200 seniors spontaneously stood and began reciting the Lord's Prayer, prompting a standing ovation from a standing-room only crowd at the ceremony.

The student message: We will not be silenced.

The religious freedom organization Liberty Counsel, which is representing Miss Chapman, reported that thunderous applause drowned out the last part of the prayer.

"The revival-like atmosphere continued when senior Megan Chapman said in her opening remarks that God had guided her since childhood," Liberty Counsel reported. "Megan was interrupted repeatedly during her speech by the cheering crowd as she urged her classmates to trust in God as they go through life."

What an amazing scene. But it's a scene that never should have transpired because the court order, according to Liberty Counsel, is "invalid, wrong and limited."

"First, the court had no authority to order Megan to refrain from prayer as she was never made a party to the case," said Mathew Staver, the founder of the organization who is also the interim dean of the Liberty University School of Law. "Moreover, a temporary restraining order which restricts a person's speech cannot be issued without first providing the affected person notice and an opportunity to be heard. Second, the court order runs contrary to the best legal precedent established in Adler v. Duval County School Board, a case successfully litigated by Liberty Counsel. Finally, the order was limited because it only addressed prayer. It did not, nor could it, prohibit Megan from thanking God or sharing her religious viewpoint during her speech."

I never cease to be amazed at how activist judges and militant leftists are bent on forbidding even the most basic expressions of faith from the American landscape. In this case, students had voted, under no duress, to have Miss Chapman act as their chaplain. But because a couple of people express offense and bring in the ACLU, the entire class loses its right to have the graduation they wanted, solely because God and/or prayer was to be mentioned.

Mr. Staver noted, "It is a clear violation of the First Amendment to require a school to intentionally censor religious viewpoints of student speakers at graduation. Religious speech has just as much protection as secular speech. In fact, the First Amendment elevates religious _expression to our first freedom."

I am pleased to partner with Liberty Counsel in the "Friend or Foe Graduation Prayer Campaign," which is designed to help students like those at Russell County High School to be able to pray if they so choose. Liberty Counsel, which is comprised of hundreds of affiliate attorneys in all 50 states, has offered its services to defend the school board and to work on behalf of Megan Chapman to protect her right to free speech against the ACLU's lawsuit.

Any students in America who face similar problems (or any type of religious-freedom problem) should immediately contact Liberty Counsel to receive pro bono legal help.

http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=50392

Modern-Day Heroes For Christ

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing
into the already crowded auditorium with rich maroon gowns flowing
and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed
away tears.

This class would not pray during the commencements----not by
choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines
allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches,
but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the
graduates or their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine.....until the final speech
received a standing ovation.

A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent
for just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every single one
of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!

The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each
and every one of you!" And he walked off stage...

The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.

Isn't this a wonderful story? MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

In God We Trust, United We Stand.

The incident above is based upon what took place on 20 May 2001 during the commencement exercises at Washington Community High School in Washington, Illinois. With the help of the ACLU, the family of Natasha Appenheimer, that year's valedictorian, brought suit to prevent the inclusion of the invocation and benediction traditionally given at the school's commencement ceremony. The suit was decided in the favor of the Appenheimers when, three days before the ceremony, the court handed down a temporary injunction barring the inclusion of the prayers on the basis of their having been deemed "school sponsored" (and thereby an unconstitutional violation of the first amendment's "establishment clause"). Though the school had said it would contest the ruling that barred it from sponsoring prayer at its graduation ceremonies, it dropped such plans in July 2001 once it came to some appreciation of how much such a legal battle might cost.

People were angered by the decision, which overturned a tradition of 80 years' standing at Washington Community High. Many found unique ways of protesting the judge's ruling. Before the ceremony, students organized a prayer vigil around the school's flagpole. Some 50 seniors clasped hands in a circle while about 150 underclassmen and members of the community encircled them. Several students festooned their mortarboards with religious slogans: "I'm praying now," "Amen," "1 nation under God," "I will still pray 2 day," and "Let's Pray 01." One parent distributed 120 homemade wood-and-nail crosses among the students.

Yet it was the act of Ryan Brown, a member of the graduating class who was scheduled to give a speech during the event, that is now celebrated. As his form of protest, he had worked it out with a handful of friends that when he faked a sneeze at the podium, they were to cry out "God bless you." The plan was carried out as envisioned, with everyone who had been in on it playing their assigned parts. (Mr. Brown also made another protest on his way to the podium — he stopped to bow in silent prayer, an act that prompted the audience to stand and applaud. He replied to the crowd, "Don't applaud for me, applaud for God.")

What with all the personal protests and media attention, it was indeed a memorable commencement, both for its religious fervor and for its display of commitment to certain ideals (and for how some chose to express those ideals). In a defining moment that served to reveal the nature of the bone being fought over, the teen girl in whose name the suit had been brought was booed when she received her diploma.

Man Hands Over Wife To Pay Debt

True story!

A Romanian man has handed over his wife to a creditor as payment for his debts.

Emil Iancu, from tIghisu Nou, gave his wife Daniela to 72-year-old Jozef Justien Lostrie when he turned up on his doorstep to collect a £1,800 debt.

Iancu said: "I had no money to pay the debt and when I told Lostrie he said he would take my wife instead.

"I was scared of what he would do and so I signed a document saying Daniela would live with him."

But Daniela says the deal has proved better for her.

"Before I had to clean the house and look after our three children on my own, while Emil did nothing, but now I'm treated like a guest and hardly have to raise a finger," she said.

How To Fight

HOW TO FIGHT
(or How to Lovingly Resolve Differences)
based on material by Kenneth L. Williams, Ph.D.

A. Necessary attitudes:

1. Sincere commitment to Jesus Christ.
2. Sincere commitment to your friend/partner.
a. Be willing to listen…to the end!
b. Be willing to accept feelings.
3. Commit to speak the truth, and to speak it in love.
a. If you are not honest—with yourself and others—you will inevitably get hurt. (Submission does NOT include dishonesty.)
b. Love is more than feeling. It is action (see I Cor. 13).
c. Accept compromise so that both parties can “win.” Any commitment up to 50% is merely barter. When either party loses, both lose.

B. Ground Rules:

1. Pray first. (Non-recurring issues can end here!)
2. Keep to the here and now. (“You always” and “you never” violate this rule: see Prov. 17:9.)
3. Keep to one issue. (The purpose of bringing up other issues is usually to attack or defend.)
4. Use “I” messages.
5. Avoid character analysis. (See Prov. 11:12.)
6. Do not counter-attack. (See Prov. 12:1.)
7. Avoid mind reading. (The “why” is not the issue; the behavior itself is.)
8. Deal with conflicts quickly. (Don’t let bitterness grow.)
9. Keep emotions appropriate. (Expressing emotions is helpful, but remember Prov. 15:18)
10. Don’t try to win.
11. Establish belt-lines. (These will be different for different people. They are comments which are too hurtful or damaging to be able to handle.)
12. Call foul when a rule is broken.

C. A suggested procedure:

STAGE 1: Preparation.

1. Partner ‘A’ feels a need for conflict resolution and takes it to the Lord.
Goal: Bring the Lord into the issue first.
Tell God how you feel. Ask yourself, “Am I ready to be hones as well as loving? Is this the true issue, or a surface one? Am I ready to present a specific request for change?” Ask God to prepare your friend’s heart. Prepare yourself with Scripture such as Gal. 6:1.
2. Partner ‘A’ announces his/her intention.
Goal: Open the issue.
Say something like, “I have a problem I need to talk over with you.” Timing is crucial.
Arrange for a time suitable to both of you.

STAGE 2: One side shares and is “heard.”

3. Partner ‘A’ states the complaint.
Goal: Adequate statement and understanding of the issue.
State two things: 1) what is wrong, and 2) how you feel about it. Keep your statements short and simple. Partner ‘B’ is to reflect what he hears, including the intensity of the feelings expressed. At this point, Partner ‘B’ is not to insert any of his/her own thoughts or feelings. (This may be the hardest part of the entire process!) When Partner ‘A’ believes he/she is thoroughly understood, go to next step.

STAGE 3: The other side shares and is “heard.”

4. Partner ‘B’ responds to Partner ‘A’.
Goal: Expression and understanding of Partner ‘B’s response to the issue.
Again, keep statements short and simple, waiting often for feedback. This time, Partner ‘A’ may not insert any of his/her own thoughts or feelings.

STAGE 4: Resolution.

5. Ask for and grant forgiveness.
Goal: Resolve any resentments held by either partner.
In most cases, both partners must do this. Asking forgiveness does not necessarily imply that you were wrong or intended hurt—it only acknowledges that your actions or words have hurt your friend. You want to free him/her from any resulting resentments so that your relationship may be restored.
Even if you cannot, on a feeling level, grant the forgiveness, you can make the decision that you will. Be sure to SPEAK OUT that forgiveness. If necessary, you may add, “I’ll let you know when my feeling catch up.” (This step is inserted here because it must take place. Often, it can take place earlier; sometimes it can wait until after a short intermission (see Step 7).

6. Partner ‘A’ proposes a solution to the conflict.
Goal: Proposal and understanding of possible solutions.
Using the same techniques described before, Partner ‘A’ makes his/her proposal, with Partner ‘B’ reflecting. Afterwards, Partner ‘B’ may a) agree, b) propose a totally different solution, or c) propose a compromise solution.

7. (Optional) Take an intermission.
Goal: Allow extra time, if needed, before final decision.
A solution is often much easier to reach after a time to cool down and to allow God to reveal creative alternatives.

8. A solution is chosen.
Goal: A specific plan, understood by both partners, is agreed upon that will lead to growth and improved relationship.
Include measurable actions, and a specified period of time, such as one week or one month, after which you will evaluate the “solution.” Conclude the session with affirmations of your care and commitment to your friend/partner.

9. Review the conflict.
Goal: To learn from the experience and review the solution.
Spend time alone asking yourself such things as, “What have I learned. What to You, God, want to teach me? Did I abide by the ground rules? Have all hurts been forgiven?”
At the appointed time, review with your partner to see if the chosen solution is satisfactory to both of you. If not, the subject is to be re-opened and alternative solutions sought.

D. Summary:
This approach will be seen as cumbersome and awkward to many. However, these very characteristics force the partners to concentrate on the process of resolving their conflicts. It slows that process down to enable them to work at it step by step. This process requires continued effort to master, and often requires the aid of a third party who knows the system, a referee, to help you learn and apply it. The rewards are worth the effort. May God grant you increasing joy and contentment in all your relationships.

You Have Worth

Only a life lived for others is worth living.
-Albert Einstein

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
-Oscar Wilde

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
-Oscar Wilde

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
-Goethe

Know that although in the eternal scheme of things you are small, you are also unique and irreplaceable, as are all your fellow humans everywhere in the world.
-Margaret Laurence

There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us.
-Robert Louis Stevenson

We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
-E.E. Cummings

How Grace Becomes Visible

Joni Erickson Tada, who is almost totally paralyzed from a swimming accident, lifted her arms as high as she could in her braces and shout, "This is the prison where God set me free." What she meant was that the pain and limitation and frustration brought on by her disability threw her back on God in such a way that she discovered what true freedom in life is all about--and it is not about arms and legs and skiing and jogging. It's about forgiveness and hope and love and meaning and eternal life. It's about knowing that God is for you and not against you even in suffering. That's how grace becomes visible.

The grace of God becomes visible by turning sorrow into substance. All the embarrassment and all the humiliation and all the loneliness and all the crying out to God is a gift. I have seen the grace of God in my life and I am glad. He takes what seems to be the worst of circumstances and turns them into good news. He did it for the persecuted Christians in Acts. He did it for Korean refugees in the USSR. He did it for Joni Erickson Tada. He did it for me--and still is. And He can do it for you, no matter what you are going through these days.

I don't mean that everything will be easy. I mean everything will have meaning. Everything will be bearable. Everything will make you wiser and more loving. Everything will draw you nearer to God. That and a lot more. That is how the grace of God will become visible in your life.

And God will do it if you trust him.Trust the grace of God. Don't put your trust in yourself. Don't put your trust in money. Don't put your trust in the government. Don't put your trust in the church. Don't put your trust in your job. Don't put your trust in any person. Put your trust in the grace of God. And then hang in there. Don't let anybody trick you out of the greatest gift in the world--living in the joy and power of the grace of God...becoming visible in your life.

Courage Can Be Quiet

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.
-by Mary Anne Radmacher

The Trouble With Truth

The trouble about man is twofold. He cannot learn truths which are too complicated; he forgets truths which are too simple.
-by Rebecca West