Letting Go

John 12: 25 "Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who despise their life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

Let go of perceived needs, personal cravings, and unconsecrated human desires....

1. The need to be entertained, to do something enjoyable, to have fun or pleasure. To have "breaks" and mini-2 or -3 hr, or days or week-long "vacations" from taking responsibility and pursuing the life of Jesus with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. Flesh says, "If I don't have these breaks, how will I survive and be happy? How will I pass the time? How will I bear having to take responsibility for myself and others, 100% of the time?

God promises that He will never give me more than I can bear and that He will take care of all my needs. The things I crave in the physical world don't really fill me. They are fleeting, here and gone. And with it goes sensitive, listening ears...my spirit dulled and smothered. The Love of God drains away from my heart. For what? Nothing.

God promises that HE WILL FILL ME. He will satisfy me.

"Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compasssion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Psalm 103:2-5.

A quote from "The Purity Principle": "When I see that God offers me joys and pleasures that sin does not, this is a breakthrough. But that breakthrough will come only when I pursue God, making Him the object of my quest." So we've got to be proactive in supplanting our selfish, fear-driven, desires by sowing to a Real pursuit of God. Instead of the worldly way of filling self...Pursue THIS as your heart cry:

"O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water.

I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory.

Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise you!

I will honor you as long as i live, and in your name i will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

With singing lips my mouth will praise you.

I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the watches of the night.

I think how much you have helped me;

I sing for joy in the shadow of your protecting wings.

My soul clings to you; your strong right hand holds me securely." Ps 63:1-8 (NLT, NIV)

2. The need to "belong" or to be noticed, invited, considered, included, loved, appreciated.

"Why doesn't anyone ever think of me?" "Nobody ever invites me..." "What about ME?" "Look at all I do and what do I get?"

Clearly, those are very ugly, selfish human desires for love, attention, and affection that we're tempted to fight for in a human way. God says the opposite. Jesus never once allowed Himself to think that way and feed the selfish desires. Lose all of that and LET IT GO...if you want to find TRUE Life and TRUE Love in Jesus. When you grab after those desires, feelings, and affirmations for yourself, a few things happen:

a) You immediately cut off the freedom of a precious love-relationship and adoration of God. You cut off oneness with Him AND His people and immediately experience loneliness, isolation, self-pity, sulkiness, paranoia, depression, accusations, criticalness, and /or bitterness. As those desires and thoughts suck energy to yourself, all arrows point toward YOU. All channels of thought and energy pour down the dark drain that stops at YOU, with God nowhere in sight. Then you are miserable.

b) More importantly, you grieve God's Spirit very much and immediately cut-off any possibility of bringing pleasure to Father's heart. He cannot smile because ONLY Jesus-directed, buried-in-trusting-Him kind of faith gives Father's heart the Joy and satisfaction He deserves. It's His satisfaction that we must be after! A Great paradox of the kingdom is that bringing HIM deep satisfaction and pleasure is the only way our own personal souls and hearts find deep satisfaction and right pleasure. "If we lose our life in this world, we will find life." The temptation that screams at us comes from the in-born human nature that says, "If I could only have ________(happiness, pleasure, fun, notice, attention, affection, friendships, good times, involvement, entertainment, toys), THEN I'll be happy." Every human being is born with it in the flesh-man. But once saved , washed and born into New Life, we are given the LIFE OF JESUS within our very bones! He was caught up in such love and desire for His God and Father! That too is OUR NEW LIFE! We drink in long drinks of fresh water when we know Him - no longer polluted by the flesh man's sewer water. "Since you have heard all about him and have learned the truth that is in Jesus, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a NEW NATURE because you are a NEW PERSON, created in God's likeness - righteous, holy, and true." Eph. 4: 21-24.We shed the old way of thinking and aggressively pursue the Father's happiness and good pleasure found in Jesus. And that ONLY comes about by Emptying ourselves like Jesus did before us...we take up our crosses and follow after Him with nothing left to pursue or gain for our own.

"It is better to give than to receive."

"I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." (Mt. 20:28).

Another branch of this self-directed thought with pseudo-spiritual shellac on it, goes like this "People and God need to give me things and include me and think about me and my children. Otherwise how will I or they bloom in Christ and be a part of things?"

That's got self at its root. God says, "you seek first the kingdom" and lay down your life for others and He'll take care of every need you have. EVERY need. We don't run after our own material goods OR our own welfare like the pagans do. Not to mention that "being somewhere" doesn't make you a part of His Body any more than slapping a piece of clay on your skin makes it a part of you. Faith in Jesus, His Blood and Responsiveness to Him as my head is my job. And He promises that as I trust Him and place my full weight on Him alone as my help, and all in all, He makes me one with others who belong to Him. It is attained not by striving or putting pressure on others or demanding. It is attained by spiritual means of LAYING DOWN what i want, not striving for it. Oneness is a product of death to self, coupled with tangible heart transactions of faith and loyalty to God and His work. And wrought out in being a servant of others. "Father, make us One." It is a miracle that comes from GOD, based on the finished work of Jesus on the cross and a HEART of total, absolute trust in that Work, toward His Risen Son, Jesus - buried in Him, believing Him, having ONLY Him as my satisfaction. Only He satisfies my heart. Oneness doesn't come by proximity alone.

3. The need to feel good about myself and be happy and content with life on my terms and according to the things I enjoy and what is comfortable for me. I'd rather only do things that I can control and that are comfortable, predictable and safe. Don't ask me to step outside my comfort zone, physically or spiritually.

"I don't want pain or discomfort. I don't want to have to deal with sin in myself and the turmoil, emotions and 'fight' that come with it. I don't want to go through conflict, pain or struggle. I want things to be peaceful and smooth. If i ask Him to change me and show me things, it might hurt or be humiliating, or expose something I'd be embarrassed about (pride). Something might come out and people might think poorly of me. I'm a Christian and Christians aren't supposed to have sins like I might have."

"And don't ask me to give up my sleep or change my eating habits (or any habits) or give honest and penetrating examination to my methods of child-raising, or business dealings. I don't mind serving here and there when I'm feeling good about it, but don't ask me to actually CHANGE anything."

This is self-preservation and downright un-Christian. You are protecting your own interests - your own SELF- interests. You want a padded cross, if any at all. You want God on your own terms. If that's your attitude, you are either barely alive, content with a pathetic perpetual babyhood, or don't know Him at all. You are trying to stay "safe," unbothered and comfortable, when in reality you are only harming yourself and Jesus, deeply, and isolating yourself from True growth and the Giver of Life. Put yourself in that driver's seat and you will shrivel on the Vine.

But a true heart for God WANTS to be pruned. Though cautiously and humbly we invite Him for tests and pruning, we ask Him nonetheless...because a holy, set apart life is our desire! We want to be pleasing and useful to Him. We know we need to "learn obedience through the things we suffer." "For the Joy set before us." We don't resent or push away or hide from those sufferings. We deeply desire to be changed so He can be glorified! We want to behold Him. We want to get the crud out of our lives and have LIGHT and TRUTH expose us. We want to be seen for who we really are. We want the great Physician to diagnose our tragic condition and apply His cure. Please, Jesus, teach us to trust You, and touch our lives...

4. The need to have a reputation, be well-thought of or have people like me.

This hinders us from confessing sin, or digging deeply into our hearts to bring things out. We are afraid of losing our reputation - what people think of us - how they perceive me. (we assume they perceive us well!) If you are "preserving" this, you are cherishing a wicked thing! This is aspiration for self to be built up and directly opposes the idea of Jesus being honored with our lives. The two are diametrically opposed. You cannot serve two masters.

You'll be tempted to skirt the truth about yourself in a circumstance or situation. You'll be tempted to water-down Truth and deceive yourself and find loopholes to prove your innocence. By holding on to your desire to have people admire you, respect you, like you, be well-thought of, you've made yourself a prison, so you are far from free! Far from free to Love Jesus or other people in a supernatural way. You may have a natural, human "love" that does nice things or "serves" but if at the core, you desire people's admiration, respect, attention or friendship, then those things you do are for self, not Jesus. Any of these thoughts should be a big red flag to you:

"If I stay out of trouble, they will like me."

"If I do nice things, they will like me."

"If I smile and am happy and pleasant, people will want me around."

"I dare not confess much if anything at all, because then what will people think of me?"

5. The need or desire to feel or be spiritual, to be "used of God" and "on track" with Jesus.

First of all, we probably have misconceptions about what "being spiritual" even looks like. It's bloody, painful, and very costly to walk closely with Jesus. The more we are like Him, follow Him and obey His Father, the more grueling it becomes. More and more glory, fullness and wisdom, but ohhhh, the pain. Our view of "what being spiritual means" is likely carnal. Otherwise we wouldn't so quickly desire it! If we REALLY saw the price and pain....."Oh i just wish i could have nails driven into by hands and beat up, hated, mocked, deserted and be a total stench to everyone around me including my friends." Is THAT what you crave??? Hmmmm...Or do you really just want to "feel good," be used of God, be important. Those who truly walk with God and defend Truth are HATED, spat on, resented, despised. All rights are stripped. No privacy. Nothing kept for self.

To be useful comes with a continual towel and a washbasin. To have blessings of the kingdom - 100 mothers, lands, possessions etc -also comes with persecution, don't forget! John 12 - Follow me - to death. Picking up a cross HURTS. IF we saw it properly, we wouldn't want it! If you want it, it's your flesh wanting something besides the REAL Jesus. Having devos, cool things to say, being involved, being in the know, being useful, feeling good about things...blah, blah. It's a shallow, selfish deception and NOT what it means to be a truly spiritual man or woman.

Jesus never taught us to "seek to be spiritual." He taught us to "seek first the Kingdom." Fix your eyes on Jesus, not on what you THINK it will bring you! Desire HIM only and His satisfaction vs. feelings, "highs" and feel-good feedback.

Isaiah 53:10-11 (NLT)

"But it was the Lord's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord's plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners."

6. Fear of not being satisfied or sustained or filled or happy. Fear of not having assurances and guarantees and a place to fall back to. Fear of losing control completely and not being the final decision maker at times of my choosing.

"Sure, I want to give Him myself and sure I try to let His ways shape most of my choices. But do I give Him the reigns COMPLETELY?" Got to let go of the fear of giving myself to His work all day, every day. Fear that i will "burn out" be exhausted, die of work, not be happy, will be too weary and sad and listless and lose vitality. Fear of no fun, no rest, exhaustion. It'll be too much to bear the emotion, drain, intensity. I'm afraid to give myself and emotions to complete obedience. I see how much it cost you, Jesus, and others...I see the cost and don't believe I'd be able to sustain that "level" of intensity and focus. I'm not that kind of person who can live in such intensity, to commit myself, and give myself wholly over.

God promised me that He would give me only what I can bear. He would never allow me to be tempted to the point of HAVING to sin, without providing a way out. All things are towards the end of changing me to be like Him. He doesn't ask me to conquer the whole Land at once, otherwise I'd be overwhelmed by the enemies. Rather, He meters out to me just what I need in just the right time and way. I can trust in Him for this, one day at a time.

7. Expectations to enjoy life and get something nice out of it.

"I'll reserve some rights for my self. To make sure this happens, I'll retain some control, some ownership of some things in my life, some decision making powers. The need to get something out of life for myself, my pleasure, my satisfaction."

Let this go for real. Give up any such hope or desire. Let go of my goals to be fulfilled in what "I" think will make me happy. Really let go of all desire to "get something" out of life for my own pleasure.

Yet when I am "filled" with what "I" want, I have a hard time believing that God can fill me or would fill me with something so much better! I shun unbelief and selfishness! His Word says:

"Unless you COMPLETELY lose your life, (rights, time, choices, decisions, comforts, preferences) you won't find true life."

8. Jealousies, comparisons, striving and wanting to be better than others.

These are obvious. No one Grows Spiritually while holding on to these sins of self-advancement and pride. Our need to "let go" of things being equal, "fair" (from our perception!), or making sense to our minds is essential. We get jealous of God's plan for others and it is wrong. We too often judge by external measures, and in the process slander God, because we think He somehow has robbed me of something and that He gives less of Himself to me. So very wrong. So wrongly motivated to think that way. God does not play favorites. He blesses all who TRUST in Him. When we harbor bad thoughts about what others have that we don't, we impugn God's character and malign His love for us. We wrongly, hurtfully accuse Him.

I can trust that He will supply exactly what I need in HIS way - in a perfect way for me. Again, my job is to fix my eyes on the Lamb who was slain for me and worship Him for His Kindness and Love and Mercy. Repent of SELF and pour my energy into letting go and being a servant.

"Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him." Psalm 32:10

9. Rights to uninterrupted time and space and privacy.

Ever felt like someone or something is making an imposition on your time and space? I have. Going along doin' my thing and someone "interrupts" my space. I want to get frustrated and impatient, short or terse. This is not like Jesus. If you perpetually view life through the lens of "my life is not my own," and that God is sovereign over every detail...sins like these will fall away.

"My judgment is just for I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me." John 5:30

"Not my will but yours be done."

If I empty myself of all these needs...if I really let go of them with my heart....do I really believe that Jesus can fill me with something better? Do I really believe that He can fill my heart and needs and desires - which at times seem like a very large unfillable space? It SEEMS like it's too large for God to fill those kinds of needs. If I lose control, lose rights to decide, lose my decision making powers...Just contemplating "letting go," I can feel this place inside of me that will be empty. And I guess that's right to feel that way. Otherwise it wouldn't cost me or require true trust in Jesus to "let go." Do I believe He can fill that place with Himself, His Love, His expressions, His ideas, His desires and wants? Do I believe I will be completely satisfied if I "let go?" If I don't have my cushion of comfort to fall back on...if i don't have this "thing" i need in order to make my life happy, secure or comfortable, what will be there instead? What will happen to me? This feels risky and costly! This is what FAITH in Jesus the person is all about! He is ALIVE! When I believe without seeing and trust without knowing and let go with all abandon. He knows every last detail of me, down to those subtle and not so subtle fears I have. He understands and wants to fill those places with Himself and teach and show me the meaning of "In Him, I live and move and have my being." I CAN let go and I WILL trust Him to take care of me and fill every last thing that I would ever need, physical, spiritual or emotional.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life.... Your heavenly Father knows what you need..." Mt. 6:25

"Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Eph. 3:20.

"After the suffering of his soul, He will see the Light of Life and be satisfied." Isaiah 53.

His end objective for my life is TRUSTworthy. He "fills" me in a way I won't be able to predict, foresee or understand. My job is to relinquish and release unconsecrated desires, personal cravings, and perceived needs. To let go and trust Him for His filling power and fulfilling Life that brings Holy, Spiritual freedom. Freedom to live by the Spirit instead of shackled to all these things I feel I need-deserve-desire-crave-want.

Father, you will satisfy me with all good things, in my soul and spirit if I let go and seek you first in all things. I don't understand how it "works" but I know it is TRUE. That You, God, will satisfy my every need, longing and desire if I LET GO and trust that You will satisfy in Your way by Your means. I will let you be Creative with me and I will let You show me Your faithfulness. I will be patient, non-demanding, not expecting on my terms. I will trust You to take care of me, fill me and satisfy my needs and longings. Amen.