My Thoughts On Domestic Violence

The following story, taken from a domestic violence prevention website, exemplifies what many consider to be a textbook example of violence in an intimate relationship.

“Even though I supported Frank he told me I was worthless. He verbally abused me constantly, he accused me of things I would never do. Everything wrong with his life was my fault. In time I believed him. I lost my self-esteem. He would fly into violent angry rages for no apparent reason. Once I ran for my life as he emptied a forty-five-magnum gun. As I ran from spraying bullets a neighbor pulled me into his car and shoved me to the floorboard saving my life. Frank apologized, cried and begged forgiveness. I returned home. I did not leave my situation until he broke my nose and jawbone, while I was pregnant with his child. Luckily I still had not been completely isolated from my family and friends when I was very badly hurt. My parents got me a ticket to LAX on Christmas Eve and my friends took me to San Francisco Airport. I went to an emergency room in LA for my Christmas.

“By the time I left him it was for my child not myself. For that same reason I let him in my life again two months later because he apologized and I didn't want to raise a baby without his dad. Even before my son was born my father found Frank pinning me up against a wall dangling my feet. Dad stopped Frank from hurting me again. Frank was told to get some help, promised he would but never did. My son never knew his biological father Frank” (Unknown, 2005).

Did you know that:

1. Domestic violence is defined as physical or emotional abuse (with the intent to injure) between two adult members living together in the same household?
2. Domestic violence is not related to socio-economic class?
3. A woman will live in a violent situation an average of eight years before she will consider making a change?
4. Chances are that you, someone in your family, or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence?
5. The cycle of violence carries on from childhood to adulthood?
6. In states where equality of women is recognized, the rate of domestic violence is low?

Acts of domestic violence occur every 18 seconds in the U.S. 95% of all domestic violence victims are women and children. Over 95% of spousal assaults are committed by men. There are 6 million Amerian women severely beaten each year by their husbands or boyfriends.

My thoughts on Domestic Violence are:

-That it matters not which is more predominant when it comes to fighting for the cause. It is just as important to STOP Domestic Violence regardless of whether it is the male or female who is the abuser.

-Until you have lost someone yourself or have been abused by someone, no one can possibly know the effects that it leaves on the person, the family or friends.

-It is not the victim’s fault

-You cannot change the abusers behavior...There is nothing you can do!
They will over and over claim they love the victim (they don't know how to love).

-They will not accept accountability for his behavior. They will deny, minimize, or say they are sorry over and over but never really change the behavior.

-It is not easy to get out but you can with help from the right people and agencies.

There is a way out of domestic violence. I have also been a victim of this awful crime and want other victims to know that there is a way out. It is a process. I would like to help anyone who has questions about how they can survive this problem.

I am here to extend my hand in support to other people going through this. Lets work together! Please have hope and know that if I can do it, you can do it!