In the beginning, I was young...he was charming. He said I was beautiful, smart, worthy of love...made me feel that way. And so we were married, joyfully, in a county courthouse.
Then came the lies...the angry words...the verbal tearing apart of my soul...Now I was ugly, disobediant, unworthy of any love, God's or man's.
Next, came the threats...I shouldn't stay, but this is my husband...I promised forever to a man and a God who I don't think love me. He says I deserve it...maybe I do. I wish I could just be what he wants...I'm alone...God, don't you hear me? Don't you love me? Rise up and defend what is yours!
Finally came the realization...I can't make this work. It's not me...it's him...I am worthy of love, God's and man's. On May 31, 2004 my heart was filled with hope and with fear now only of starting over on my own with my three boys. And so again I walked...out of that apartment in Seattle...never again to be silent...never again to choose to live with that kind of violence and pain.
God loves me...I'm His...and that is all that matters. No matter how long it takes, He will not abandon His own.
1 comment:
Wow! I wentthrough this too...the wisest thing is to realize that God is not in abuse.
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